C'est La Vie;That's life

We do this every day, right? Tread those egg shells? Walk that thin line between what we think is right, and what's a big no-no. Or, do something which seem perfect at Life Point X, but, when we overdo and it becomes negative, turns into an inverted bell curve at Life Point Y? Read on. Here are some random examples on this train of thought, collected on this random day- Share our life experiences and think it's of major help to someone, without sounding preachy, a bore, and being a major put off. Gain self-confidence and turn it into positive self-esteem, without getting snotty, arrogant, and again, a major put off. Be that voice of reason to friends and family, without people start hating it eventually. Love our kids deeply and passionately, without smothering and killing the relationship that they run away and away from us. This of course, sometimes can make us chase them more, until they flee to the tall peaks of Machu Pichu. But, sorry children - love can...

So much hoopla about womanhood, feminism, and what's right or wrong, extreme or mild versions of it, am suddenly feeling a urge to clarify my views on this topic. Quite bizarrestrangoweird that it never crossed my mind all these donkey's years, to actually think of what being a woman meant to me, leave alone write about it. Anyways, let me just sit down and make an attempt to de-clutter all the muck and mud surrounding this mess. One word pretty much bottoms it down, and I've given away the punchline in my title anyway-  EQUALITY.  As simple as that. What goes for the goose goes for the gander. Except, what both genders physiologically can and can't do- pregnancy and childbirth, hormones, work that involves upper body strength etc. Even the latter is kind of debatable, with sports being a levelling field right now - yes, that was meant to be "punny" :-) Anything else that is possible for both genders, like education, work, choosing a life pa...

Let's talk about what each and every one of us have within ourselves. That deep, down voice that tells us strongly what to do, not to do, what we ought to do but choose not to and regret later on with a "I-told-me-so", things that we wish to do but dare not try in our lifetime....you get the drift. Yes, it is that all-pervading, metaphorical inner compass, or the SatNavs of our lives that I'm getting into. Young adults  think they have an independent mind, and do and act that way. In reality, though, in most of the cases, it's not even of their own choice, but out of peer pressure. Which interestingly, brings a point- whose collective, mob voice is it then? If everyone is busy copying someone else doing the same, then who the heck started the fire? No clue, but let's assume for sanity's sake that some life form starts a trend which gets viral, bacterial, whatever. And, suddenly there's a strong urge that compels every youngster to do it ...

No big deal, one would think? Well, one's wrong and one has to think again. There's enough difference between the two, to make wordsmiths uncontrollably weep with tears of joy or split their white hairs. Don't believe me? Prepare yourself for this earth-shaking (at least in my mind) discovery. Envy is when we badly want or desire what someone else has- yes, it's that new house, new car, dress, whatever other people have and we don't. It's interesting to note that we never look at those way above our strata - so, those helipadders, penthouse owners or exotic island hoppers never come in our radar because our brain has knocked off those from our check list way back. Those below our own levels don't even come into the picture simply because, it defies the very definition of what we are trying to define. So, who's left, you say? The fellow humans who come from our similar background, and have lead similar lives, make money more or less like ...

When you need it the most. Obviously, for raising kids. In the by-gone, black & white, pre-digital era when joint families still existed, there was definitely, literally and truly- a village. In fact, am going to call it "The Village". Where there were people of different age groups, genders, personalities (some of them quite colorful) that roamed about freely. Some were close families, some extended, and the ones "no-one-knows-who", but somehow get mysteriously added to the tree. Nah, just kidding, am sure the seniors would eventually get there by racking their brains to come up with a twisted, long-winded term to justify their relationships to the pack. Neighbours were close enough to be called part of the families too. My point being - all these people directly or indirectly had a big impact on the children of the household. Was it all positive, inspirational, fairy-land style of an influence? Heck, no. No such dream place ever existed. People ar...

Is there really one in our body? Or, maybe it's just a wacky, weird word play on the actual "humerus" bone. Who says Science and Literature don't mix, right? Be that as it may, having the ability to laugh with (note, not "at") others is a great habit to groom, polish and whatever else you do for general sanity check. Laughing apparently releases endomorphins or "feel-good" chemicals in our body- that's what researchers say, not me. So, anything from clowns, funny shows, even if a pathetic physical tickle is what it takes to get a smile, would be fine. Now, bear with me on this laziest one in the history of analogies. Imagine you're at the bottom of a hill. Ready, set, this would your starting position. Moving up, have you noticed how it's so easy to laugh at external things, but not at ourselves? But, if we do want to get there, we got to travel a long way to taking ourselves a little less serious than others do. Rea...

One of the great things about mid-life is that you've finally hit that average point in your life span, when the last 40 years and maybe the next 30 years of your existence kind of evens out.  It gives you that perfect space in life to settle down without any crutches, look back and front with no neck cramps, and mostly, contemplate deeply without getting lost in your thoughts and getting stuck in 'seniledom', and do the one act you've always wanted to do but denied the most - freely comment on the world at large with a minimum 50% accuracy, give or take few well-intentioned, but completely misguided advices (yeah, we've all been there, bungled that).  So, on that lousy, rotten statistical note, let's start rating you now.  Have you always felt how much our lives are constantly observed, evaluated and left hanging on random scales?  Looks like it's become compulsory need that whatever we're doing now or done in the past has to be measured...

Have you realized that there's way too much information floating around these days? It almost seems impossible to get by an hour, forget about a day, that we're not bombarded with words around us. Visually, it's either the loud marketing messages when you're watching the TV, or the in-your-face pop-up ads (can block them all you want but they're there to cleverly "boo" wherever you go) when we're browsing the net or take even the billboard ads, posters, signposts staring at us when we get out of our house. And, then there are the audio messages thrown, starting from those living with us like our parents, spouse, siblings giving an earful, or our teachers, bosses, co-workers telling us to do things better. I know i'm skewing on the negative side here, but honestly, how often do you hear anyone praising each other these days (except on the Utopian, fairytale world of FaceBook where everybody "likes" everything). I suppose some...

Honestly, I've no idea how I got here....but guess it is true. My 100th post already. Still hanging in cyberspace and no remote idea how. Or for that matter why. It just seems like yesterday that "blogging" seemed like a natural extension of my "blabbering", decided to give a break to the poor jaws and let my hand do some venting for a change. Got a sudden urge to spare the rest of humanity surrounding me from my incessant and specific views of anything and everything. Misery loves company, so i told myself - why limit the torture? No, seriously, all this writing has been nothing short of a revelation and brought out a different dimension that i never knew existed in me before. I've thoroughly enjoyed this process and the complete freedom of speech that it reinstated. It's sort of a liberation of untold magnitude. So, to those of you who have a burning desire to blog and to others who want to but are dilly-dallying, i have this to say - ju...

continued from part 1..... Let's start from the bottom of Maslow's pyramid, which is Physiological & Safety needs . These are our basic survival ones like eating, breathing, clothing and, living under a decent roof. The human mind will come to grinding stop if these are not met, and you'll be unable to even think about the next level of needs. Don't believe me? Try dieting/fasting for a day, and you'll be amazed how your fat brain (please, it's a compliment) which used to process complicated thoughts like the greenhouse effect, looming elections, world economy etc. till the day before, can obsessively think of only one thing and nothing else now, which would be the magical, four-letter manna - FOOD. Anyways, these needs would probably come from the closest relationship of all, i.e. parents or caregivers. And, from an evolution point of view, would be our Infant/Childhood stage. Next, is the Love/Belonging needs, which deals with our sense of ...

Let's admit it. All of us as adult humans have needs, wants and desires. At first, they have and will be at a basic sustenance level of food, shelter and clothing, and once that's done, it moves to many different elevations above. Also, it always starts with material things like money, car, house, job etc., then kids (and the heavy price tag that comes with them) etc. Think of it as the " taking " phase. At some point of life, when many hairs have been "grayed-and-dyed" after, we hopefully evolve to higher-order thinking like social work, helping/caring for others or spiritual quest etc. - basically, chucking the hugely inflated and egoistic "me and only me" out and replacing it with a big picture view of "what i can do for others", "how i can be useful to Mother Earth"  line of thought process. This would be the " giving " or " pay-back " phase. Sorry, life doesn't offer any free lunch, anytime, an...

There are two things in life i'm very passionate about - one, a good cuppa coffee and the other, any views or opinions (mine or of anything that walks on two legs).  Both are crucial to my existence, i'll tell you why. Without a heavy dose of caffeine in the morning, am nowhere ready to face the world yet - au contraire, hey, i see no one craving to see my crabby personna either. Fair enough. Anyways, I can go on and on about how coffee wakens my sleeping brain cells from yonder and beyond, how I'd have no problems living in a deserted island if only someone can supply my three cups every day ( side note - for the wisecracks, thinking: how could coffee get there? Answer: I don't care, this is only a hyperbole and do me a favor, please don't think so much) or what i honestly feel about people who don't drink coffee (if forced to write about them, i'd be exceeding my expletive quota for this blog) - ok, hopefully, you get the idea by now. ...

So, the ability to use language as a mode of communication is one of the main differentiating factor between us and the rest of our primate friends. It gives us that crucial "one-up" to dominate the earthly scene, making us feel all superior. Of course, we easily gloss over the fact that some of us can share so many other traits with the animal kingdom - don't we have enough samples of sly foxes, wise owls, slimy weasels, scared chickens, sharp eagles, vain peacocks etc all around us? Makes one raise an important, poignant question: are we so different after all? Me thinks nah, not so much. More on this topic, it's also fascinating that there are around 3000-6000 languages spoken by us humans around the world (as per our friend "Wise Wiki"). In India, even if you're linguistically-challenged like me, there should be an average of at least two languages acquired over a life time by each person (this is my own extrapolation, so please don't ana...

I'm very curious to know how many of us truly mean what we say and say what we mean. And, act on both of them in our everyday lives. Is there often a gap in between? If so, how wide or narrow is it? No, we're not talking about lies here. This is about how dramatically things could change from preaching to practice. Intentional or not. Let's plunge deeper into this interesting aspect of our society that many of us take for granted. Here are some simple, everyday things that we wag our tongue about, but our brain kind of consciously overlooks when follow-up knocks on the door. Be honest, Truth hurts, but in the end is better - No way! We "white lie" through our way most of our lives. And no, I would rather listen to lies than truth, especially if someone is commenting on my new outfit, thank you. End maybe better, but beginning sounds the best for now. Don't talk behind someone's back - We know it's bad, especially hate it when we are the targ...

Quite a bunch, aren't we? Not only burdened with the responsibilities of raising new-age kids who are high tech, but come with nope, not even a "Parenting for dummies" manual, managing a challenging and dynamic job-front, dealing with the social aspects of the family like being the perfect daughter, a good sister, the kind neighbor, a caring wife, dutiful daughter-in-law et al. Add the mundane chores of cooking, cleaning, gardening, chauffering to this list and - I know, my head is spinning too. Easy now, let's sit down for a minute. Most of the current gen mothers that I know take their diverse roles to their heart, and try to make the best out of it. It's business as usual for them. No big deal, they would brush off. But, I always wonder if we're all unconsciously trying to be "Supermums", especially the huge task of balancing work and home. We definitely want to be out having a career or a job which is what keeps us sane and yet, no way ...

Before I proceed any further on this kind of dangerous territory and literally asking for trouble, I'd like to proclaim to my immediate and extended family - "Please take all of this with pounds of salt....and, for heaven's sake, it's some X, Y and Z family. Not ours at all. We're the nicest people ever dwelled or going to dwell on Planet Earth." Now, read on. We all talk about getting along with each other, team work, socialization etc and view it as an important element of our everyday life. Right? You take any situation, whether it's workplace, community, school or home as an example, and the most daunting task would be to make a group of people come to terms with each other, cooperate and do something productive. With me so far? So, the rare, "enlightening" thought that struck me today is why is that we're not able to take those exact same lessons  from our own families. Why do we choose to stru...

We all have given, received and returned or exchanged gifts throughout our lives. It's one of those inevitable, endless, at times dull social etiquettes that has been going on for many centuries, right? In an idealistic Utopian world, gifts should be given without any 'quid pro quo' or any expectations in return, but in this real, greedy world......who are we kidding? Yeah, yeah, we've all heard the worn-out and cliched, "its the thought that matters" kind of saintly statements, but you better have high monetary standards for your thoughts, folks. Else, be ready to incur the wrath of some very hostile hosts for the rest of your social life. Also, i've a honest confession to make. The people who have mastered this gifting technique have my full-blown, unabashed greenest envy. The way they enter a party or a house with a neatly, glossy-wrapped, present that looks like it's taken them years of thoughtful planning, makes me feel like a Neathandral woma...

In a recent newspaper article, a British anthropologist Robin Dunbar has proposed that there is a theoretical cognitive limit imposed by our brain's neocortex, to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. This is called 'Dunbar number' and approximated closely to 150. Interestingly, the number also includes past colleagues such as high school friends with whom a person would want to reacquaint themselves if they met again. This theory is now being extensively used for research into Internet social networking sites. Makes sense, right? We might be tempted to greedily keep adding those "friend requests" on our social networking sites to long-lost people whom we haven't heard in zillion years and even to passers-by on the road, but please hold back those instincts, curb your enthusiuasm, or put a damp sock in it - at least if the list is getting out of hand. It's time to take a closer look at who's truly a friend or a...

The following content is purely a figment of my observation, and hopefully an unbiased, sort of warfront reporting of what's happening in the homeland. So, if someone is offended, well....don't take it personal, relax, take a chill pill... On a heavier note..... - If you love diversity, variety or sugar and spice in your life, this is the place to be. More so, if you choose to stop and savor every minute of it, you start noticing the subtle yet rapid changes that are happening in a dynamically changing society, of today's India. - The role of media has undergone huge transformation, atleast from what it was a decade back. Open debates and political discussions, exposing scandals and trying to get the truth out of "shady" matters are welcoming changes, but in this process a lot of focus is given on sensationalism and the media getting into a "witch-hunt" mode. My take is, we're in the process of refining the 'fourth estate' and taking ...

"That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." These are the words of Juliet, in Shakespeare's drama "Romeo and Juliet". I'm no huge fan of the Bard (the "thees" and the "thous" are huge put offs for "mees"), but relish the depth in some of his messages which strike a chord and makes you think about life on an elevated level. Anyways, this quote means we should not be bothered about how people address or call us because no one can change who we are internally. Names are mere ornaments to our existence (if you have the time to think metaphors) or plainly, like name tags in an office meeting (if you would rather sky-dive off a steep cliff than think about such wordy stuff) To interpret this more in present day terms - Juliet says (be very clear, it's not me) that you shouldn't take things seriously, when someone verbally assaults you. Be a Rock of Gibraltar or a stand like a statue of Buddha, til...