No big deal, one would think?
Well, one's wrong and one has to think again. There's enough difference between the two, to make wordsmiths uncontrollably weep with tears of joy or split their white hairs.
Don't believe me? Prepare yourself for this earth-shaking (at least in my mind) discovery.
Envy is when we badly want or desire what someone else has- yes, it's that new house, new car, dress, whatever other people have and we don't.
It's interesting to note that we never look at those way above our strata - so, those helipadders, penthouse owners or exotic island hoppers never come in our radar because our brain has knocked off those from our check list way back.
Those below our own levels don't even come into the picture simply because, it defies the very definition of what we are trying to define. So, who's left, you say?
The fellow humans who come from our similar background, and have lead similar lives, make money more or less like us, but, somehow (here's where you insert your favourite expletive, followed by conspiracy theories in various degrees), managed to have gotten that brand new luxury car.
Damn it, we hate that, don't we?
Ok, all the above reasons have existed for a while now, and to some extent needed to hone our survival and adaptive instincts.
On an extreme end though, an annoying movement that has become the exclusive trend of the competitive millennium parents (trust me, kids could care less and have enough problems of their own) is that of comparing notes as to who is doing well in academics or have made it to that coveted college.
This has to be the most ridiculous and unproductive habit ever in human history.
So, for all those hyperactive parents- here's an unsolicited advice from me.
Our progeny = Our own genes + Our parenting style and of course, the inadequacies that come with that package + their social structure (at school and outside) + levels of exposure to social media.
Try controlling these variables and maybe that's what may change the outcome. Taking tips from high achievers on a grandiose level might help, but, spewing venom and starting long bitch-fests on why that xyz's son or daughter doing better than ours is a complete waste of time and only brews negative feelings.
Phew, I hate to sound that preachy, but, had to vent that out of my system sometime.
Going back to envy.
In a nutshell, it involves two-parties. One- the envier,(completely cooked up) who's basically doing all the job of harboring ill-feelings and the other, the enviee, (yes, made up again just to maintain balance) who's just going about doing his/her business completely oblivious of their part in the chain of reaction.
Then, what's jealousy you ask? Well, jealousy is when you possess something and are worried that another person might take it away from you.
Easiest example would be of a person whom you love or like a lot. When there's a third person competing for that attention, this is what follows. That harmony-loving, dove-releasing, Gandhi-following, meditation-preaching, yoga-practicing (you get the picture) persona that you've been all along in life just takes a long hike, and the green-eyed monster in you suddenly pops up from nowhere.
This tends to disturb the existing equilibrium, creates a havoc and the next thing you know, you have a strange urge to read up on different ways to torture someone.
In a nutshell, jealousy involves three-parties.
There's again the envier, who seems to the perpetual bad guy, the envien (had to come up with something, thanks to the tangled web I've woven) or the intermediate person who's kind of innocent and caught up in this whole mess, and the enviee, who may or may not be guilty, but, you can't do anything about it anyway.
After all this paralyzing analysis (can actually feel a numb limb in my arm), I've come to this hypothesis now.
Both envy and jealousy are natural and inevitable to our nature. Let it come out, no holds back.
But, just being conscious, trying to tame these demons (we are never short of them, are we), and mainly, not allowing it to take control of our lives is possible and doable.
Resting my "peace" cap for now.