Mine and hopefully, if you've a pear-shaped body like me, yours too. I'm talking about weight management. Actually, in my case, i'm doing nothing. My weight is the one who's managing me right now - ordering me to eat non stop, instructing me not to get up from the couch and steering me a mile radius from any gym. In short, not helping one inch. I want to fire it for such a high-handed behavior. Once i figure out how.
My saga of yo-yo dieting started almost since the dawn of this century. Why so long? Because i haven't yet grasped an iota of how it works. And, that's not my problem at all. It's just that these diet gurus can't seem to make up their mind and keep changing the rules. At their own whim. Just when people settle down on the Atkins diet and the body starts to shed a few ounces, springs up another South Beach diet which asks you to do something else.
Stop it, you guys. Remember that you are provoking people who are half-starved. Any minute now, hungry dieters can hunt you down and whack your heads with a tofu, veggie-filled burger or a soy-enriched, vitamin-fortified, protein milk shake. And, that would be mild. You don't want us to go to the extreme of stuffing your mouths with those low-salt, lowest-tasting, cardboard crackers that are a part of our daily staple. Don't say you've not been warned.
As far as exercise goes, i hate gyms. Hot and sweaty rooms with majority of the people looking as pathetic as me, are complete turn-offs. And, the minority of them who are athletic with Greek-goddess' bodies give me the green, so that's a no-no too. By the way, what are these people still doing at gyms? Their work-outs have been long done and over with. Next time you see those well-chiseled, sculptured ones strutting around, just kick-box them out of the gym. Will ya?
So, forget about getting fit. Ask me what i am doing to look fit these days? Ahem, ahem. Well, i got myself the best of athletic wear - the sweat shirt, sweat pants, sneakers et al. Now, ta-da! When i wear these and go out, me and a person who's gasping for air after jogging for 5 miles, can stand side-by-side and look exactly the same. Except that they are all sweaty and grimy, and i look like i stepped fresh out of shower. Yeah, cheap trick, but works every time.
My saga of yo-yo dieting started almost since the dawn of this century. Why so long? Because i haven't yet grasped an iota of how it works. And, that's not my problem at all. It's just that these diet gurus can't seem to make up their mind and keep changing the rules. At their own whim. Just when people settle down on the Atkins diet and the body starts to shed a few ounces, springs up another South Beach diet which asks you to do something else.
Stop it, you guys. Remember that you are provoking people who are half-starved. Any minute now, hungry dieters can hunt you down and whack your heads with a tofu, veggie-filled burger or a soy-enriched, vitamin-fortified, protein milk shake. And, that would be mild. You don't want us to go to the extreme of stuffing your mouths with those low-salt, lowest-tasting, cardboard crackers that are a part of our daily staple. Don't say you've not been warned.
As far as exercise goes, i hate gyms. Hot and sweaty rooms with majority of the people looking as pathetic as me, are complete turn-offs. And, the minority of them who are athletic with Greek-goddess' bodies give me the green, so that's a no-no too. By the way, what are these people still doing at gyms? Their work-outs have been long done and over with. Next time you see those well-chiseled, sculptured ones strutting around, just kick-box them out of the gym. Will ya?
So, forget about getting fit. Ask me what i am doing to look fit these days? Ahem, ahem. Well, i got myself the best of athletic wear - the sweat shirt, sweat pants, sneakers et al. Now, ta-da! When i wear these and go out, me and a person who's gasping for air after jogging for 5 miles, can stand side-by-side and look exactly the same. Except that they are all sweaty and grimy, and i look like i stepped fresh out of shower. Yeah, cheap trick, but works every time.