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Roller-coasters, me ? - No way

Not the metaphorical one about 'life is a rollercoaster' kind. I am talking about the actual one. The mammoth coasters that zigs and zags in mid air, taking your intestines for a jolly ride. You can never get me on one, even if i have to lead the rest of my life as a sop. No siree, i'll save my share of torture for something else.

We sure go to theme parks faithfully, time to time. My kids love them. Why? Because they are children. And, they're genetically programmed to like everything opposite to what their parents want to do. Always. You like beaches, they hate water. You like walking, they like slouching on the couch. You like camping, they'll cringe even if you go anywhere near a tent. And, once in a blue moon, if you both agree to do biking, you bet it'll be raining outside. That's Karma for you, folks.

Back to rides, i always choose the one that is not more than few inches off the ground, not spin around too much, and of course, it has be slow. After a thoughtful and careful elimination, what i end up is the kiddie ones. I might stick out like a giant in those Lilliput rides, but it works for me. And, that's where i draw the line.

As far as those gigantic roller coasters go, those are my version of miniature loony bins. Also, next time, take a look. Yeah, at those people who are getting ready to go on the thrill ride. Listen to them. You'll see how they all thump their chests like Tarzan. Gloating, that this is like a toy compared to other humongous ones they've been. The ride starts. They are up in mid-air and screaming wildly, with twisted, contorted bodies and their gut shifting places to their mouths. Clean up your ears and listen more. I can bet million dollars (don't have that kind of money, but hey, it looks good on print), they're shouting, "Mommieeeee....Let me outta here...". Oh, look. Now, they are all back, teeth rattled, and bodies shaking like an aspen tree, and going "Wow, that was fun!".

And, because we're a bunch of mature, suave adults - Let's boo them together - No, it wasn't, you liars. We heard it all.

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