I am talking about approval and acceptance. All of us like them. Regardless of age, regardless of who it's from, we crave for those acknowledgements of whatever we do. Agree?
Small children need them the most and rightfully so. For e.g, the wee ones do a scribbly art work and look earnestly to the nearest adult with lots of expectations. One smile or nod from we, the grown up makes them so happy and motivates them to enthusiastically churn out more chicken-scratch-turned-picasso-work for the rest of the day. Until after 50 pieces of scrap, our patient smiles change to a little exasperation and the clenching of the teeth begin. Hey, we're all humans, not pre-school teachers, who the last time I checked, are zen masters at large.
When children get to the age of building their newfound knowledge on the world around them and start airing them to anyone and everyone, again, those adult 'nods' sends a resounding assurance that the world is all right and that their small observations have been approved - big time. But, if the grown-up who's on the receiving end is actually "hearing" and not "listening" to them, it can send mixed signals and make things quite messy. For e.g., your child just told you that he wants to do a cool science experiment by mixing baking soda and vinegar on your brand-new rug. You are on the phone and have just absent-mindedly okayed it (with a fake voice that you always use whenever you are busy and not to be bothered by small matters) and that you think it's a splendid idea. Results in order of devastation - Big Boom...Small Boom.. Loud Splash! Well, there's a lesson for you. Next time, sorry, any time your child brings up the topic of science projects in the living room, remember....all ears should be cleaned, polished, open and wide.
Moving on to adults. We need a lot of our share of nods too - from peers, bosses, friends, family, neighbors etc. But, do you see a teensy, weensy problem here? If we are constantly giving our approvals to the younger ones, who are we supposed to look up to for getting our share? Our peers are all on the same boat, looking around cluelessly like us, so no help there. The older generation, who used to fill in this position earlier have resigned and are vacationing in their retirement homes. Hmm, from a gob the problem has become garangutous now.
But, say, I have an idea. How about coming up with a smart robot? The single job requirement would be to smugly + wisely, bob its head up and down to whatever we say or do? Wouldn't that be reassuring? Any enthusiastic volunteers for this imbecile project? You can have me and a lot of attention-deprived, approval-seeking, acceptance-craving desperate people collectively "nod"ding for it.
Small children need them the most and rightfully so. For e.g, the wee ones do a scribbly art work and look earnestly to the nearest adult with lots of expectations. One smile or nod from we, the grown up makes them so happy and motivates them to enthusiastically churn out more chicken-scratch-turned-picasso-work for the rest of the day. Until after 50 pieces of scrap, our patient smiles change to a little exasperation and the clenching of the teeth begin. Hey, we're all humans, not pre-school teachers, who the last time I checked, are zen masters at large.
When children get to the age of building their newfound knowledge on the world around them and start airing them to anyone and everyone, again, those adult 'nods' sends a resounding assurance that the world is all right and that their small observations have been approved - big time. But, if the grown-up who's on the receiving end is actually "hearing" and not "listening" to them, it can send mixed signals and make things quite messy. For e.g., your child just told you that he wants to do a cool science experiment by mixing baking soda and vinegar on your brand-new rug. You are on the phone and have just absent-mindedly okayed it (with a fake voice that you always use whenever you are busy and not to be bothered by small matters) and that you think it's a splendid idea. Results in order of devastation - Big Boom...Small Boom.. Loud Splash! Well, there's a lesson for you. Next time, sorry, any time your child brings up the topic of science projects in the living room, remember....all ears should be cleaned, polished, open and wide.
Moving on to adults. We need a lot of our share of nods too - from peers, bosses, friends, family, neighbors etc. But, do you see a teensy, weensy problem here? If we are constantly giving our approvals to the younger ones, who are we supposed to look up to for getting our share? Our peers are all on the same boat, looking around cluelessly like us, so no help there. The older generation, who used to fill in this position earlier have resigned and are vacationing in their retirement homes. Hmm, from a gob the problem has become garangutous now.
But, say, I have an idea. How about coming up with a smart robot? The single job requirement would be to smugly + wisely, bob its head up and down to whatever we say or do? Wouldn't that be reassuring? Any enthusiastic volunteers for this imbecile project? You can have me and a lot of attention-deprived, approval-seeking, acceptance-craving desperate people collectively "nod"ding for it.