C'est La Vie;That's life

I'm very curious to know how many of us truly mean what we say and say what we mean. And, act on both of them in our everyday lives. Is there often a gap in between? If so, how wide or narrow is it? No, we're not talking about lies here. This is about how dramatically things could change from preaching to practice. Intentional or not. Let's plunge deeper into this interesting aspect of our society that many of us take for granted. Here are some simple, everyday things that we wag our tongue about, but our brain kind of consciously overlooks when follow-up knocks on the door. Be honest, Truth hurts, but in the end is better - No way! We "white lie" through our way most of our lives. And no, I would rather listen to lies than truth, especially if someone is commenting on my new outfit, thank you. End maybe better, but beginning sounds the best for now. Don't talk behind someone's back - We know it's bad, especially hate it when we are the targ...

Picasso’s greatest works came early; Cézanne’s came late. Are you one of those classic"slow poke" types that took a really, really long time to grow up? Some one who everyone kind of gave up but made heads turn and people going "gaga" over you later on? Then, this is for you. Feel free to pass on this public service message around. My honest belief is that all children are amazing works-in-progress who are on their way to a beautiful end-products, IF shaped well. And, who's to decide what is the appropriate age that's supposed to happen? I've always taken a strong dislike to those who think they can look at a child, and decide on how they're going to be a failure as an adult. And, what irks me further is how they voice their misguided prophecies to the children themselves, which can manage to destroy whatever self-esteem they have. And, if the above doomsdayers happen to be your neighbor or a pathetic passer-by, you can brush them off and c...

Quite a bunch, aren't we? Not only burdened with the responsibilities of raising new-age kids who are high tech, but come with nope, not even a "Parenting for dummies" manual, managing a challenging and dynamic job-front, dealing with the social aspects of the family like being the perfect daughter, a good sister, the kind neighbor, a caring wife, dutiful daughter-in-law et al. Add the mundane chores of cooking, cleaning, gardening, chauffering to this list and - I know, my head is spinning too. Easy now, let's sit down for a minute. Most of the current gen mothers that I know take their diverse roles to their heart, and try to make the best out of it. It's business as usual for them. No big deal, they would brush off. But, I always wonder if we're all unconsciously trying to be "Supermums", especially the huge task of balancing work and home. We definitely want to be out having a career or a job which is what keeps us sane and yet, no way ...

Before I proceed any further on this kind of dangerous territory and literally asking for trouble, I'd like to proclaim to my immediate and extended family - "Please take all of this with pounds of salt....and, for heaven's sake, it's some X, Y and Z family. Not ours at all. We're the nicest people ever dwelled or going to dwell on Planet Earth." Now, read on. We all talk about getting along with each other, team work, socialization etc and view it as an important element of our everyday life. Right? You take any situation, whether it's workplace, community, school or home as an example, and the most daunting task would be to make a group of people come to terms with each other, cooperate and do something productive. With me so far? So, the rare, "enlightening" thought that struck me today is why is that we're not able to take those exact same lessons  from our own families. Why do we choose to stru...

The lies told by Adolf Hitler to the then British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain , when the two met just prior to the outbreak of war in September 1938, are famous. Hitler was secretly preparing to invade Czechoslovakia, and was therefore eager to prevent the Czechs from assembling a retaliatory force. The Fuhrer assured Chamberlain that he had absolutely no intention of attacking Czechoslovakia, and the British leader believed him. A few days after their meeting, Chamberlain even wrote to his sister, describing how he believed Hitler to be '....a man who could be relied upon when he had given his word.' Chamberlain was so convinced of Hitler's honesty that he urged the Czechs not to mobilize their troops, fearing such a move might be viewed as an act of aggression by the Germans. The subsequent German attack quickly overwhelmed the ill-prepared Czechoslovakian forces, and led to the start of the Second World War. The world might now be a very different place had C...

A piquant Paris - Really old....around 14th century. But, preserved and refurbished, remodeled to appease a contemporary traveller. This  is the first impression one gets stepping into the city. The serene beauty of the Seine river, the solemn Notre-Dame cathedral, the sprawling, garangatous old Louvre museum which holds most of the Renaissance paintings and sculptures in the world, a more modern Musee d'Orsay which boasts the numerous Impressionists paintings of Monet, Renoir etc, the beautiful Champs d'Elysees ending at the Arc of Triumph, the cute Parisian streets, of course the famous views from the Eiffel Tower - all look like they have been carefully fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle. Blue print for how a city architecture ought to be. If you're a Dan Brown fan like me, you can soak it all up - the Pantheon, the androgynous Mona Lisa (or ' La Joconde' as the French call it), and the ugly, but significant Pyramid...

We all have given, received and returned or exchanged gifts throughout our lives. It's one of those inevitable, endless, at times dull social etiquettes that has been going on for many centuries, right? In an idealistic Utopian world, gifts should be given without any 'quid pro quo' or any expectations in return, but in this real, greedy world......who are we kidding? Yeah, yeah, we've all heard the worn-out and cliched, "its the thought that matters" kind of saintly statements, but you better have high monetary standards for your thoughts, folks. Else, be ready to incur the wrath of some very hostile hosts for the rest of your social life. Also, i've a honest confession to make. The people who have mastered this gifting technique have my full-blown, unabashed greenest envy. The way they enter a party or a house with a neatly, glossy-wrapped, present that looks like it's taken them years of thoughtful planning, makes me feel like a Neathandral woma...

In a recent newspaper article, a British anthropologist Robin Dunbar has proposed that there is a theoretical cognitive limit imposed by our brain's neocortex, to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. This is called 'Dunbar number' and approximated closely to 150. Interestingly, the number also includes past colleagues such as high school friends with whom a person would want to reacquaint themselves if they met again. This theory is now being extensively used for research into Internet social networking sites. Makes sense, right? We might be tempted to greedily keep adding those "friend requests" on our social networking sites to long-lost people whom we haven't heard in zillion years and even to passers-by on the road, but please hold back those instincts, curb your enthusiuasm, or put a damp sock in it - at least if the list is getting out of hand. It's time to take a closer look at who's truly a friend or a...

The following content is purely a figment of my observation, and hopefully an unbiased, sort of warfront reporting of what's happening in the homeland. So, if someone is offended, well....don't take it personal, relax, take a chill pill... On a heavier note..... - If you love diversity, variety or sugar and spice in your life, this is the place to be. More so, if you choose to stop and savor every minute of it, you start noticing the subtle yet rapid changes that are happening in a dynamically changing society, of today's India. - The role of media has undergone huge transformation, atleast from what it was a decade back. Open debates and political discussions, exposing scandals and trying to get the truth out of "shady" matters are welcoming changes, but in this process a lot of focus is given on sensationalism and the media getting into a "witch-hunt" mode. My take is, we're in the process of refining the 'fourth estate' and taking ...

"That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." These are the words of Juliet, in Shakespeare's drama "Romeo and Juliet". I'm no huge fan of the Bard (the "thees" and the "thous" are huge put offs for "mees"), but relish the depth in some of his messages which strike a chord and makes you think about life on an elevated level. Anyways, this quote means we should not be bothered about how people address or call us because no one can change who we are internally. Names are mere ornaments to our existence (if you have the time to think metaphors) or plainly, like name tags in an office meeting (if you would rather sky-dive off a steep cliff than think about such wordy stuff) To interpret this more in present day terms - Juliet says (be very clear, it's not me) that you shouldn't take things seriously, when someone verbally assaults you. Be a Rock of Gibraltar or a stand like a statue of Buddha, til...

Pssst... If you have travelled around in the US or have an elementary school kid, go ahead. Else, stop....brush up on US states and its geography a little bit, then proceed - at your own risk. There's a reason why slogans exist in the first place - To promote the United States tourism and attract gullible visitors whose sole aim, is to do the foll: A. Blow up their hard-earned, life savings on expensive entrance tickets to garangatous amusement parks, to watch grown adults dressed in ridiculous costumes; B. Buy trinkets which always look so classy in the shop, but seem dull and ugly when you plant them in your curio shelf, and eventually lands its way in the trash; C. Indulge in fragile, but good and expensive memorablia that somehow manages to break down into small, tiny, unglueable pieces of glass particles the minute you come out of the souvenir shop. Yawn...whatever....ok, we agree on the need, on some pathetic level. But, why come up wit...

These are a few of my favorite things that I do when I'm feeling sad. No, it doesn't involve the rain or the roses. Why? Because those kind of happy endings happen only in movies. In real life, if you decide to mess with Mother Nature, what are the odds of singing while getting drenched in a downpour - without sneezing even once or smelling the roses - without getting stung on the nose by an angry bee who was just minding his own pollinating business? Trust me, pretty high. So, without much further ado, here are ten tips that could help spruce up your dull days.  Sorting through old photographs and trying to remember the events that took place at that moment and place, recalling the tender moments or hilarious ones. I love to dig out treasures from my mothers' pile of photos, every time I visit my home. Walking down the "nostalgic" lane, if you're lucky enough that your neighborhood stays the same and not been knocked down by newer construction....

Thanks to the friend who recently pointed out how we think "Recycling" is an alien, Western concept to India, wherein it's been a part of our "gene psyche" for centuries already. Of course, solar panels, rainwater harvesting etc. are all newer conservation ventures in India, due to dwindling resources throughout the world, more so in populous country like ours. But, what about re-using and recycling within homes? It's definitely not trendy. Been here, people are doing it already. Ok, i'll go with food first. I'm extremely nitpicky about wasting food, which traces back to my middle-income upbringing. My parents' used to literally lament about the food left-overs "going down the drain" through the garbage disposers whenever they come to America. Never struck odd to me there, but now that i'm living in India and having to see poverty directly, every single day....it pains me too to think about gallons of food that we've blissfull...

Do you obsessively wash your childrens' hands till the poor skin loses one-inch of epidermis? Are you absolutely convinced that the sole mission in a bacteria's life, is to hunt and infect you and your family? Do cleaning and sanitation products take complete priority in your shopping list? Paranoid about dirt-attacks? Have to have those squeaky-clean floors? Ok, i'll stop now because by now, we all know whoever you are. Here goes a new theory that i came across and thought i'll share. Just for you. Dr. Erika Von Mutius, a health researcher has come up with a new theory to explain why the number of asthma and allergies in children are increasing in the much cleaner West. She dubbed it as "The Hygiene Hypothesis," which states that children who are around numerous other children or animals early in life are exposed to more microbes, and their immune systems develop more tolerance for the irritants that cause asthma. Also, the human immune system has evolved ...

Next, bring on the trumpets and the marching bands, please. Gen X, the now mid 30 to 40'ers (it's my era, so please don't mind the extra fanfare) have come to town. Let's start with childhood. Physical work has started diluting by this time paving way to more focus on education for both men and women. Quality of life was shades better because the culture of materialism had slowly creeped into the society. From transportation to household appliances, changes were happening for the better. As Gen X kids, we still drew water from wells, walked to do errands, biked to schools, did work in the house - without money, mind it (if i ask my kid to do this now, she'd protest it as child labor) and helped the grand parents who were at home. Other biggie at that time, is that entertainment was all outdoors, because let's face it. Indoors was too boring, crowded with people and also a danger zone for children who could get assigned random chores on sight. Imaginary play t...

So, here is it folks. I'm going to make a very important official declaration, that i'm not too happy, but kind of arm-twisted to make - I'M GROWING OLD! And, how do i know this? Strangely of late, the starting line of my conversation to the kids have been with that wretched, dreaded and nightmarish words, "In those days, we used to..." . The very same line that I use to tease my father when he said it or politely yawn when my granny droned away for the nth time. The great circle of life, and now it's my turn already. Sigh, how time flies. But, we middle-aged Gen X's don't give up that easily, right? There's nothing much we can do about it except to over-analyze the whole thing and make a mess out of it. Let me roll up my sleeves and the pen here. First, i'll start with the now 60 and 70'ers, which i'm going to call "Gen W". I had to make that up on my own because only in the West, they have a fancy name called "baby...

One enviromental walkathon and lo presto....i morphed into a more sensitive and caring for Mother Earth "me". Started with the basics - no leather, more cotton (not sure if the cotton trees would be happy about this), and definitely NO silk. I've been good so far about not buying and avoiding silk as much as I can (they had to mummy-wrap me on my wedding day), thanks to a book that i read when young, which graphically described about how the silk worms die in their cocoons during the silk-making process. The author thus successfully managed, to emotionally scar the heck out of me - for life. Ok, so I decided to venture further and explore new frontiers. No plastic bags for groceries was next on the agenda. My neighborhood shop keepers who used to sweetly coo in my ears (sales people here can go either extreme- be very rude and ignore you completely or start stalking you behind with overt politespeak) whenever i go in, are starting to hate me now and asking me, "W...

The following content is purely a figment of my observation and is directly and intentionally connected to real life situations and people. So, if someone is offended, well....don't take it personal, relax, take a chill pill... Ok, after that loosely-construed disclaimer, on which I took a painstaking, laborious, thoughtful, five whole minutes to come up with....on to the main topic. I've waited for a while to ramble on what i've seen, heard and reasonably projected observations of my homeland and here it goes. On a serious note... - India can best be described as an old, rusty but still-working machine. Looks messy and cranky on the outside, but once you're in and get settled, one comes to realize that there's a vague sense of order and things do go in a strange, but definite pattern. I guess that's what keeps us going on and not disintegrated already into anarchy. - A country that's only 63 years young has still a viable, democractic government, seems ama...

Not going to have a debate on religion, this would be only an academic curiosity here. So, please don't throw any "stone bytes" on me, folks. We just finished reading briefly about Darwin's evolution theory as a part of our homeschool science. Simply put, this theory means that we have all descended from a common ancestor and through successive genetic accumulation, spread everywhere. You must have heard of too many apes and the chimps joke which are too stale to throw in here, so i'll hold them back for later use. In India, all science books across the country dutifully follow the evolution theory, probably because most of these books are published in the United Kingdom where Darwin came from. On a related topic, the 'Darwin centre' at the Natural History Museum, London is a must-visit (my own plug here, free service). Back to my question - how does a majority Hindu country like India which also believes in the Trinity theory (Brahma -the Creator, Vishnu ...

Let's talk about a simple, common question that comes up within 2 minutes of any decent conversation - "Where are you from?" Here's what i do. If i'm anywhere in India, it's always a matter of direct curiosity to know if i'm a Northie or Southie (apparently Eastie or Westie doesn't count). And by that point of time, i can almost see their overactive brains already sorting out my physical features, linguistic slang, mannerisms and millions of other trivia to get some idea of my statehood. They have to know this otherwise their cerebrum would burst into pieces. Headless busts don't make great conversation partners, right? So, in order to avoid any bloodshed, i'll have to declare solemnly, "Chennai", because that's the place of my schooling, college-ing, working etc. Simple, you would say. But, see this is when the fun starts. If i'm already in Chennai and someone asks me "Where are you from?", i'll have to rack...